Self- Confidence is a tricky little tool that is completely under our control. It is a state of mind that is innately available of us. It encompasses of reaching the peak of well-being, acceptance to your body and willingness to prove your self-worth by working on your own abilities, skills, and experience.
However, not many people understand that confidence works based on our responses towards a task. Either you use it, or you lose it.
And although confidence may mean different things to different people, in true essence, it’s the entire ideology of having faith in yourself.
For instance, in a basketball game, the shooter has to believe in him/herself that they’ll be able to shoot a basket. If they don’t, they wouldn’t be shooting the basket in the first place.
The whole idea of self-confidence is that you face fear head on and try to be a risk taker. Now, this trait soon leads you to action.
But why only confidence? Why not self-esteem or mental strength?
The reason being, confidence as a trait is on the highest level of self-development. It is only after you cross the bridge of self-consciousness or worrying about what people tell about you, can you go ALL IN and do what you want.
It sounds easy than done, but trust me, if you have the teeniest bit of trust, anything can be possible.
Knowing the difference
Nevertheless, there are always two sides to a coin and similarly, the same goes for confidence.
- You think you deserve to succeed
- You know you have the right abilities to succeed.
Now, there’s a very thin but distinguishable line between the two.
The first one is basically overconfidence which may lead to arrogance. People brag about skills they don’t have, and they give out a ‘know-it-all’ vibe. This becomes an internal link, where you judge your own abilities based on your own thoughts. And as glittery as this may seem, it can be quite treacherous to our wellbeing.
Whereas the second one is a more genuine case of confidence. This, however, is an external link. You know you’ll be able to succeed because you have the abilities for it.
Taking control of your self-confidence
Being low in self-confidence changes the perspective of your action/reaction method to ways of life. This further creates a potentially difficult situation to be put into. And perhaps the most important way to overcome it is by planning and preparing for the unknown. Knowing what to expect and planning will help you be more aware of your surrounding making you feel more prepared and ultimately confident.
Below, I’ve outlined a couple of steps to help boost your self-confidence. The list isn’t a comprehensive one, just something that has helped boost my confidence down the line.
1. Think positive
One of the things I learned while starting my career was to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. The reason why I started that early was because of not losing hope in myself to be good every day. Especially when you work a 9-5 job, you’re not the only doing it, you just one in a million. So, this is the most easiest way to pull you down.
So, be aware of your worth and change your thoughts to make you feel new every day, even if you’re doing the same thing all over again.
Now you must be wondering how is smiling going to help when you’re insides are crushing in. Well, simple, it fools your mind to be happier. This, in turn, elevates your mood and your confidence. You become less aware of your flaws. You’re less fixated to that ugly back voice trying to pull you down and more absorbed in appreciating life.
3. Expose yourself
Something that interests me the most about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is Exposure therapy. It’s more into helping people with anxiety and fear. This therapy understands your fear and slowly exposes it to you. No, it doesn’t force you, it gently teaches you the art to accept your fear bit by bit.
Similarly, work your self-confidence in such a manner that you learn how to tackle your weight more easily. Start by doing something different every day. Try engaging in conversations with people and gradually the number of people whom you talk to. Spend time imagining how things would be if they were a tad different, and you’ll see yourself making a change in no time.
This is one of my favorite techniques that I still practice to date. I self-talk to myself every morning, briefing on how my day should go, what I need to achieve and how to do it. Achsha does the same. But our methods of self-confidence is very different.
Hers is a more, realistically raw way of reminding herself of earning something. Mine, on the other hand, is more about empowering with knowledge. And although it may seem to be the same thing, it’s done so differently yet causing no emotional scars.
5. Know yourself
It’s always the easiest to know who your enemy is. And in this case, its that tiny back voice trying to tell you that you’re not good enough. Especially when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image, this can be damaging. But don’t worry. Start analyzing to why that voice is telling you off. Understand the reason and try talking to yourself. Think about your limitations and then try pushing it, little by little. Slowly dig deeper within yourself until you’ve found the mark and take it out gently and replace it with a much greater deal: Self-confidence.
6. Take in criticisms productively
Most of us view criticism as a threat. We view it in a manner, that someone is trying to take us down. This attitude closes the communication line of receiving information that may help you succeed better. Instead, listen to the criticism. Even if they’re harsh. Take out the good from it and turn it to your benefit. No one does it better than you.
7. Groom yourself
This may be the most obvious tip but something as little as a shower or a nice haircut can immediately boost your self-confidence. Putting on something you love, can make you so much more confident than you think. It also makes you feel a lot presentable and easy to tackle the world. However, it doesn’t mean you need to wear the most expensive shoes or an expensive suit to feel good but could mean a nice and casual looking outfit to make you feel nicer being you.
8. Destroy your image
Our confidence level underlies on how we perceive ourselves. We use a mental image of ourselves and place them in various situations, and sometimes we don’t go ahead with any of the situations, is probably because we don’t like how our mental image of ourselves look. So, slash it down and work on your image. If it’s not good, change it. Make it better and you’ll find yourself taking control of your life.
9. Body posture
Our body posture is one of the main reasons for either feeling confident or low. When we slouch, this tends to send out signals of a more laid-back attitude to tackle situations. This, in turn, makes us feel less worthy thus making us less willing to attend to a task.
10. Get active
Doing something is always better than sitting idle. Go to the gym or take a walk. Exercise as much as you can to keep yourself feeling fresh. It can be the most empowering activities and you’ll reap its benefits in no time.
11. Be nice to YOU
We all make mistakes and that’s precisely how we learn. We fall, and we learn to pick ourselves up because that’s how we supposed to roll. So, don’t be hard on yourself when you fall down a couple of times. Learn to get up and use it as an opportunity to build in that confidence to work smarter. And remember, the more you fall, the more you’ll rise.
12. Empower yourself
Empowering yourself is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. And you can do that by gaining knowledge. The more knowledge you gain, the more confident you’d feel to portray the idea to others around. And the more you portray, you slowly learn to push your limits. And whilst doing so you tend to change your life, for better.
You needn’t try all of them if you aren’t keen. Pick a few that appeal to you and try them. If they work, try the others. If they don’t, try the others.